Needles, Waiting Rooms, and Leadership

Hey friends,

So, this isn't your typical leadership newsletter. It's personal. Really personal. But I think the best lessons often come from unexpected places.

My path to pregnancy? Not exactly the straight line I thought it would be. Years of doctors, labs, shots, pills, referrals, and infusions later... here I am with some pretty amazing insights that apply to leadership in ways I never expected. Let me share them with you.

The Power of Asking "Why" (Again and Again)

I can't tell you how many times I asked "Why?" during this journey. Not the frustrated "Why is this happening to me?" (though there were plenty of those moments). I'm talking about curious "Whys" - "Why did those hormone levels change?" "Why is this protocol different?" "Why might this work?"

Each question led to deeper understanding. And isn't that exactly what we need as leaders? Not just accepting the first answer, but digging deeper. When your team misses a deadline, the first "why" might get you "we ran out of time." But the fifth "why" might reveal a process that's been broken for years.

Your Network Is Full of Hidden Gems

Here's a wild one: For a FULL YEAR, I worked side-by-side with someone who held the key to my fertility journey. But I had no idea. Why? Because I hadn't shared my struggle.

It wasn't until I mentioned what I was going through that she said, "Oh, I know an amazing specialist who helped me after 10 miscarriages!" That doctor changed everything for us.

Think about that! The people you see every day might have exactly what you need, but they can't help if they don't know you need help. Which brings me to...

The Courage to Be Vulnerable

Look, sharing fertility struggles is awkward. People say weird things. Some advice is just plain triggering. ("Just relax!" Anyone? )

But if I had kept my struggle private, I would have missed connecting with the person who ultimately helped me find answers.

Same goes for leadership. When you hide your challenges, you rob your team of the chance to help solve them. When you pretend to have all the answers, nobody offers new ones. The strongest leaders I know share their struggles openly, creating spaces where others feel safe doing the same.

Get Curious (Like, Really Curious)

At some point, I realized nobody was going to care about my fertility journey as much as I did. So I dove in - researching medical journals, joining online forums, looking into alternative approaches. I became that patient with a notebook full of questions.

This curiosity helped me understand my options better and advocate for myself when things weren't working.

The best leaders do this too! They don't just accept the first solution or the standard approach. They ask questions. They explore unconventional ideas. They stay open to being wrong and changing direction when new information comes in. Intellectual curiosity isn't just nice to have - it's essential when tackling complex problems.

Persistence When Everything Says "Quit"

Can I be real? There were SO many moments I wanted to throw in the towel. Labs came back wrong and needed redoing. Test results meant more waiting. And the needles? Let's just say I've never been a fan, but I became very familiar with them.

What kept me going wasn't stubbornness. It was connection to the bigger dream behind it all.

The same goes for leadership challenges. The project that keeps hitting roadblocks. The team dynamics that resist your best efforts. The organizational inertia that fights change. The leaders who make the biggest impact aren't always the smartest or most talented - they're the ones who keep showing up when things get tough. The ones who can reconnect with their purpose when everything says "quit."

You Can't Control What Others Think (So Stop Trying)

The appointments. Oh my goodness, the appointments. Early mornings, middle of workdays, last-minute schedule changes - all of it meant missing work sometimes.

I had to get comfortable with the fact that some coworkers probably thought I was slacking. Or getting special treatment. Or [insert whatever assumption people make].

Here's what I learned: I couldn't control those perceptions. I could only control my choices and priorities.

As leaders, we face this all the time! Making unpopular decisions. Prioritizing long-term growth over quick wins. Pursuing a vision others don't fully understand yet. Having the courage to be temporarily misunderstood is part of leading with integrity. The alternative? Making decisions based on what will be immediately popular rather than what's right.

Put Your Money Where Your Heart Is

Let's talk about something nobody likes to discuss - money. IVF is not cheap, friends. Not. Even. Close.

But here's the thing about financial investments - they're a tangible way of saying "this matters to me." Every card we swiped was a statement about our priorities and values.

I see the same principle at work in leadership. It's easy to say, "Our people matter" or "Innovation is important" - but where are you putting your resources? Your budget? Your time? Your attention? There are always cheaper, easier alternatives. Your investments reveal what you truly value, not what you say you value.

Give Yourself Some Dang Grace Already

The steroids made me puffy and moody. The hormone shots left bruises. Some days, I was physically and emotionally DONE. Just done.

Those were the days I had to learn to give myself grace. To say, "It's okay to not be okay right now." To recognize that pushing through difficult things doesn't mean pretending they're not difficult.

I've noticed leaders struggle with this! We set impossible standards for ourselves, then wonder why our teams are burning out trying to meet those same standards. When you can say, "I'm having a hard day" or "I made a mistake" or "I need help with this," you create space for your team to be human too. Perfection isn't the goal; grit is.

Their Win Doesn't Mean Your Loss

This was a tough one. When you're in the middle of fertility struggles and your friend announces their pregnancy, it's... complicated. You're happy for them and sad for yourself all at once.

I had to learn that someone else's miracle didn't make mine less likely. There's a saying that "When someone gets a miracle, it means God is in the neighborhood" - which is actually good news!

I see this play out in leadership all the time. When your colleague gets the promotion, when another team's project gets the spotlight, when someone else's idea gets implemented - do you feel threatened or do you celebrate? The best leaders know that success isn't a finite resource. When we celebrate others, we create cultures where everyone can thrive, not just a select few.

Control What You Can (And Let Go of the Rest)

If there's one thing fertility treatment will teach you FAST, it's the difference between what you can and cannot control.

I could control taking my medications on time. Making it to appointments. Lifestyle choices. But how my body ultimately responded? Completely out of my hands.

Learning to pour my energy into the controllable factors while accepting the uncontrollable ones preserved my sanity. No amount of worrying changes biology.

As leaders, we waste so much energy on things we can't control! Market conditions. Competitor actions. Policy changes. Instead of focusing on what we CAN influence - our team culture, our strategic choices, our own responses. Knowing the difference saves enormous amounts of energy and prevents needless frustration.

The Reality Check: Results May Vary

I want to pause here and acknowledge something important: probability is real. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, how much you persist, how many doctors you see, things don't work out the way you hoped.

I'm not sharing all this to suggest that if you just follow these principles, you'll achieve all your goals. That's not how life works. That's not how fertility works. And that's certainly not how leadership works.

What I can promise you is this: God will teach you something through your struggles if you let Him - even when (especially when) it's not what you wanted to learn. I didn't ask for this fertility journey. I didn't want any of this. But I'm profoundly grateful for it now.

I can tell our son how much we fought for him. How much we cared from the very beginning. How God has a plan for his life that will be epic.

And isn't that true for leadership challenges too? Some initiatives fail despite our best efforts. Some teams struggle despite excellent leadership. Some goals remain just out of reach. But the journey itself transforms us if we're willing to learn from it.

I'm here for anyone going through a challenge - whether it's chasing a dream, facing an illness, or navigating change. You're not alone, and your struggle isn't meaningless. Sometimes the path to our biggest growth doesn't look anything like the path we would have chosen.

The Hardest Part? Waiting.

Anyone who's been through fertility treatments knows the waiting is brutal. Waiting for test results. Waiting to see if treatments worked. Waiting for your body to respond. Just. So. Much. Waiting.

I had to learn to wait with purpose - to see waiting not as passive endurance but as active preparation. To use the waiting time intentionally rather than just suffering through it.

Leadership involves SO much waiting too! Waiting for teams to develop skills. Waiting for culture changes to take root. Waiting for long-term initiatives to bear fruit. The leaders who can wait without disengaging, who can stay present and purposeful during uncertain periods, have mastered something essential. Patience isn't passive - it's powerfully active.

We're Better Together

When we finally got our positive test, sharing the news with the people who had supported us along the way multiplied our joy exponentially. And as my body started changing, the wisdom from friends who had been there before became priceless.

"Try ginger for the nausea." "Those compression socks will save your ankles." "Here's how I handled working through the first trimester fatigue."

I realized how much richer life is when we don't go it alone.

Great leadership works the same way! When you build genuine community, knowledge transfers naturally. Challenges are shared instead of shouldered alone. Victories belong to everyone. The best teams I've been part of didn't just achieve goals together - they cared about each other along the way.

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So there you have it. Who would have thought that years of fertility treatments would end up being one of the best leadership training programs I've ever experienced? But our personal struggles often teach us the most universal lessons, don't they?

The qualities that got me through to pregnancy - persistence, vulnerability, curiosity, community-mindedness, and faith - are exactly the qualities that make leadership meaningful and effective.

I'd love to know - what unexpected journeys have shaped YOUR leadership? Hit reply and share your story. I promise I'll read every one.

With gratitude, Liz

P.S. The power of prayer carried me through this journey in ways I can't fully express. Sometimes the most important leadership quality is remembering who's really in charge.

YouTube Video Here: https://youtu.be/UUOIQ7Unjko